38 Weeks pregnant and counting....

Why didn't anyone tell me about the evilness of pregnancy? Not that I would've decided not to have kids had I known the truth, but I feel like I would've been in more control or something....

Being 38 weeks pregnant is worse than being 34 weeks pregnant. Just when you think you can't possibly get larger, you do. Just when you think you can't possibly have more limited mobility, you do. Just when you think that you can't possibly have more anxiety, you do.

Stretch marks have spiraled out of control and I tossed out the cocoa butter a month ago. For the first time in my life, I have no desire to buy any more clothes. I mean, fuck, as much as I could use some winterish clothes - I refuse to buy any more fat clothes. The last purchase I made was for a much needed sweat jacket but otherwise, I don't care how much I could use another sweater-type thing or pants-type thing - I'm completely over it.

My biggest concern now is the decisions that people are making for the baby before the baby is even born. My mother-in-law wants to have the baby baptized... I am not Catholic, neither is the "man". I am particularly uncomfortable with this idea, especially as descriptions of it becomes more grandiose than I had expected. Pregnancy has made me extremely aggressive, more than typical and I would hate to have to display that kind of aggression towards my mother-in-law.

Yes, pregnancy has made me aggressive. I have had two altercations with random men in the street. One man stole my parking spot, the other decided to block the street I needed to turn into to get home. Yes, I did get out of my car and screamed bloody murder. Yes I did use my pregnancy as a means to try and make these two men feel guilty - not that it worked but who knows.... I am fucking crazy and I guess feeling a bit too entitled here because of my pregnancy. Not that I expect crowds to part when I am walking down the street but, quite frankly, I expect some kind of respect which I don't get here in this shitty Chinatown I live in. They push, they shove, they cut you in line, and they look at you like THEY ARE ENTITLED while they see me struggling just to stand. If I go to a white part of town, I swear, everyone says "I'm sorry", they open the door for me, they make room for me....it's the oddest thing. But, hell, I guess with the amount of Chinese people in the world, me being pregnant, ain't no thang.......